RAIN LUST

There’s not going to be a soul to thank me for these dreams—I’ve kept
I did not make them up,
they fly on in
the din of weeping princesses fills this tenement
the lament of the drunk outside
becomes mine
whisky and wine
while I sit—while I lay on my back
naked—tracing shadows alone’
four in the morn—and light another
cigarette

ah—forget it!
you think the writing life is easy
how’s it easy?
No validation
this permanent vacation from the world
anyone else knows

And now again—I know love—which is to say I get laid
and curl up in the window
hands wrapped around ankles—to watch the rain roll
down on Reilly Street
I see one man below
—walking slow—to spite the storm
I learn
I learn the secret—life is lonely
No—only some of the time

When you came over the loneliness melted away
you said—you said putting your hand to my cheek—
give me your lonely—your tired—your poor!
thrust them into the door!
And in the dark I thrust them all night
My God! The door was so tight!
I imagine that a world was made in that explosion
I can’t imagine how you held me, my body tossing
the next morning your hand touching—that spot
—that bone—that place on my hip
—your arm tossed over me
your breast there to feed me.

And I thought and I thought
now there’s nothing else
Now—
I am really naked
and she understands me

And the bus rolls below on Reilly Street.