every boy is beautiful
the night before you die
every boy is wonderful
in that last sad desperation
and his smiles and hesitations
are all little promises
here
on the edge of hope and
the sacred season
where everything is possible
and everything is magical
right before you
die

tossing and turning
well now i feel like a fool
cause all i ever wanted is
all i ever wanted
and, well, i hope you understand what that
means,
that all i ever pictured was
all i ever pictured
and well, you know,
this means i was lackin in imagination
living in loving you
is to transcend
and transcending is just a fancy way of saying
living beyong my dull imagination
its just another way of telling the waiter
in this world to send back the crap on your plate
to simply state: i want more
and on a simpler bread
and water sate yourself

whether it helps or not, this is
a well earned nihilism
and i know there is no reason to
believe any of the promises
made here
in the cold land
made by all these cold men
and, what is more
half the vows, half the doors
opened to reveal their prizes just show me
that what i wanted is worthless
how if i open my eyes
to the opening of the eye
how if i see the sight
see the light?
and instead of the promise of
live in the moment of
your love?

this could be the first day,
the day when i am born and
the day
where i know you love me
and where, not being all about me.
i fall into love with you
so too, when i learn that forgetting is past
forgiveness andacceptance is over both
so, jesus would have learned
has he been a lover spurned
and i,
don't want to spurn him
i want to walk into this garden of delights
everything in my sight has been wortless
and until this day
i have been birthless

you don't create because you
don't have the life in you
you don' make cause you
don't have the love in you
light a candle
pray to sarasvati
to see every little thing
and to begin to care
the only way to create
your own world
is to be deeply invested
in the one you're already in

life give me life
this lukewarm liking is not enough
give me thriving
life burn me with fire
till i retire from this house of
ice
i will melt, my head throbbing
in this sun before
i run away from such a fire

when i meet him i will know him
because he will not complete me
he will come from the other
side of the universe where
i always knew i was
and when i see him he will
be so alive
i tire of the half dead

if i meet one more slouching
creeping person
i'll tear my eyes out
i want to see you
i want to tear the dullness
of this life
to live in freshness
with you

now that the time for tears is over
having wiped them off with the end of
my shotgun
i have to get up again
and then
now that i find myself alone
i'm still going to have to find home
and, still, i'm going to get up
and do what i have to

the only way to catch a star is to tousle
the only way to wrest your dreams
is through struggle

having forgiven, i'm not going to lie
down because there just isn't time
there just isn't a way
having ceased expecting you to
do what you should
and give what i need
i will
still hope in God
and in my hands
and what you won'
t give
nd what you won't give
and how you won't live
i'm going to have to have
to motherfucking seize

six am surprises me with the dull ache
the old fresh disappointment
that i need to forgive you
that you won't do right
and you won't do right
and none of you can do right
and i've been waiting a long time for you
to
but i need to forgive you
that there's no strength in you
for the water in your hands
and the water in your wills
and the blood on my face
i forgive you
in the dullness of this ache i
forgive myself
for being so, so fragile
as to hope in you
and to love you

she clucked out another platitude and
you can remember if you want to
i know it sounds good and so you're
welcome to it
but, honey, you just remember
it doens't matter how good it sounds
if it isn't true
so, say all you want, but the
thing i'll be having time for is
what is
i'd rather have it be true than pleasant
and i can't back away from that
and that is why you're backing away
from me

there is a rule to life and i am beginning to know it
you don't have to make a thing happen if you cast yourself in the pot
do not deny the flowing of this world
even now in summer heat, even now in yawning
i can feel it
it doesn't ave to be believed
i can feel Mother Ol'ds ladle beating against my tabel
and my shoulder and saying let's move on
i cansurrender to the drums
and to the desire
this fire isn't from a candle, sharply lighting
even when its lightning, it booms low across the sky and turns
the green grey to blu
ah, this lustful fire's about you

in this heat only wild things grow
thick as soup the air scarcely past
five in the morning
white as milk, as seed, as blindness
traces of the fog
only the wild grow in this stultifying
stuff and the secret to their growing
is the root knowing
they just lie there and thrive