j o r d a n

when i stepped into the water
and into the oil
and into the salt and water and oil
when the silver ewer poured the mother of
the waters over my head
the truth is i had no idea what i was walking
into
and i still don't
repentance is turning around to where you came
going back to the start of the road
and not taking the same
path
and so said John, and so said you
that long ago, before my mother was born
before my face was formed
in a place of one man clapping
i came out of light
indescribable joy and brightness
and i can just barely remember this
but not enough for repentance to filled with amnesia
baptism is...
repentance is...
starting at a place of i know not what
after all the what's i've always known have turned
out to be the wrong ones
repentance is a hairy man
dressed in skins calling me a lamb
and the sky cracking open, the old days done,
the terrible voice crying:
My beloved son
though i am quite sure i am your daughter