the wedding feast of the lamb has begun
or so i have been told
i wore no white dress to it
for he had ravised me long before
in the river jordan
and marching to that chuppah i was already
pregnant with joy
sleepy here
and half weak from recently waking-
why can't i waken-
i am still haunted by jealous bogeys
and still the devil tempts me
and still i want to be healed
of i and me, and everything that damns
me like a flood
if, on this night
at this feast
at this wedding table
ghostly, black and greyened i remember
vague i felt that
joy
why can't i feel that joy again?
i am able to lay with you once again
will you give me that trembling
opening,
spilling
in which all of me pours out
once water
now drunken wine?