i can't go
baby when you snort that blow i want
to be with you
oh, jaime, your were just so pretty,
a honeybabygoldsuperfly
i deny i can't deny you
on the peach, out of reach,
oohlalala superbeach wenebago
that's how it goes and will
you be there palm sunday?
in your wedding gown with a
catholic frown and palm leaf
up your... banana? oooh lala
and don't you love me?

and i told your brother he could pluck me,
in the house on my stomach on the afternoon he would...
and there was no wedding gown,
there was not going down only the look on emily's
face ahhhahhh virgins in the yard,
virgins in the yard and ain't it
hard to find the place between my mary and yours?

i can't go when you snort that blow, you know i want to be with you
on the florida beach, but baby you were out of reach like the sky
and the sky was purple,
purple as his sex,
purple as those balls
purple as the fall of innocence and royal,
purple as the sun
purple as the plum i
held in my hand
when i held him in my hand
and oh, he moaned.

ASHERAH

running through the woods chasing witches but
who will cookamunga my vacation?
and running to the dell to tell the bridgebuilder
your name but don't you remember the same
don't play that game where you say you don't
know me. don't tell that lie where i fly in
a cloud until i burst all over your hand,
we're all bursting over your hands

and what she commands...

running through the woods chasing bats now,
do the mushrooms grow, baby do the mushrooms grow?
and i am sick of sitting here sidesaddle or
honey baby do you know, honey baby do you
know and where's my tomato

and are you not hiding and what she commands...

ju-ooodah, virgin mary, virgin mary, with a touch
of terry-gon and spice

cause what she commands...
what she commands...

squeeze your need, wring your need,
squeeze your... ah,
until your seed pours on my hand,
slicks my hand.

well what she commands....

i am fat and tired and sick and mired with
too many cigarettes and too much gin
and the doritos that pretend to be real
fool and my belly is hanging over
this belt with the residue of
the night and the not enough sleep and here,
early, i come to meet you and the edge of
the day and won't the world stop turning?
i am thirty years old and three and
finally i am old enough to know
i am still young and stored in here,
in those toe, and in this one old
roll of fat is that two more hours sleep
will get me where i thought prayer
should and than an hour of answering
the temptation of your,
kissing me up and down is worth
three of meditation,
pushing the body
away with a frown,

i am dizzied with the need to stumble off
this roller coaster, stomach still
reeling with the feeling not,
that the earth is moving,
but that i am commanded to move
and you are still standing still.
i beleive that all of this talk of
god's will and of your destiny
and of my purpsoe is all
foolishness.
God put you on thiis earth to,
God put me on htis earth to,
this is meant to be. no, see
we are placed, hurled, tosses,
spewed out in blood onto this
world's realm to breathe it,
and grasp it and take it
and make of it what we will.

because you sit on the train in the rain
on an L stop texting like a teenager
though you are at the door of thirty
after awhile i ingore you
either my messages drop or you ignore me
whole days pass after i've left
messages on your phone and you ignore me
the god who made the skies you
ignore him
and then you wonder why you cry
and you ignore it
and so at the last foolish message
i get up, and don't even deign
to respond, and maybe the reason
you say there is no god is
because he sometimes shakes
his head and like me, does
the same

stop worrying
do not be afraid
god is all around you
don't try to control of cling
love is all around you
in the springtime of your life
let go and release
this thing you
ve been holding onto wasnt worth it
this dream you thought you'd
forgotten, never wind away
in the past, like a wound,
liek a splinter in your flesh
no is is floating all around you
and as you let go of
everything that bids you hold
you will see
God is all around you

i want to suck your cock
its not classy but i want it
sometimes i want salvation
sometimes i want spiritual healing
occasionally, if i think about it, i wouldn't
mind a little world peace
but mostly right now my jaws ache
to have my jaws ache
my maw aches
to make my jaw ache
making a drop to me knees
this is what it means to be human
we need love
we need reason,
we need to be opened
we need each other
we need to be unblocked
we need the grace to have our mouths fucked.

and now i pause and wait for the imaginary
slap from heaven,
the tap on the wrist castigating me for
who i am and the lust in me and the
mischief i make and hte bwing down
to mercury and venus, the penis
rises like a mast and compass points
to all desire and i am filled with a fire the buddha could not countenance. i am all dripping black storm clouds and lust and blood and still, five years from a church and a hundred miles from jesus heaven, i splash my face and think of all the time i'd waste waiting for punishment... and i am still getting used to not being an angel, and i am trying to unravel the secret of my lust and trying to trust in all this longing and how what i wish for in the end, when we lay it all down, is simply to be lain down and fucked, after all this crying and all the wasted reasoning on the clock i just want to open wide my mouth so you can stick in your cock

There is only one law as far as i
know and that is to grow,
the knowing that cannot stop
reaching, the untwisting of
the vine all the time,
like kudzu in the south,
tearing down the house,
and i would subjugate you,
dam you, damn you, put reins
down until storm and when
the rain falls down,
tearing down all my houses
this is the only construction,
the creation of destruction
and the shiva dance,
the firing ram,
lightning and a
stiff cock in my hand

swallow

in america most men are ashamed most of the time for most of the things they do...




what a heavy load!

with a final groan and release you
deliver what is salt and honey
in my mouth, the money of the
love we made, the flow of rivers
i rarely let spend into me and
your face, pale and spent with shame,
that mighty damn, shrinking already.

like bubbling sap and oil you
explode

salvation.

The taste of you,
coal and

damnation.

a burning
ash suffucing in my membranes
while lamely, your gather
your clothes like Adam,
and donning fig leaf
underwear try to make
conversation

after sleep none of this matters and
i know there is no hurry,
i am soli as stone, solid as ice,
melting as ice in March and April.
if i tried, if it was worth it,
i would not beabl to make any

sense of you what is more,
at this time i am unable
to worry, i am unable to
care about things i cannot
care about, weep for what
i should not be weeping for,
i just don't believe in your
jesus, or in her no-god,
i'd rather pray over a stone
i would rather sit here
composing the beginning
of a poem than be devoted
to confusion
i would rather sleep

blueberry, bumblebee
rasperry, persephone come for me
i just broke into a man's house and took his underwear
so soft and don't you stare or do you
tangerine and fragipanis, angelica and clover
scarbora, but don't you blame me
and tiffany will you come for me
when you know i am waiting on the floor
just like before
i sit by the door wailing cause fred
with his cigarettes
won't come home
the man with joint in his hand he is
not superman but can you blame me
raspberry, lemon and symphony to china
blanket
and tiffany you see my blood rosary
pulling blood bead after bead for
fred with the man hands
the hands of the man
the dr who hold hands of the man'
but don't you blame me

come on and wash me with your superman
with your big strong cool hand luke
i need your apple duke,
i know it ain't no fluke and i still need
your
aqua
marine,
come on man
come on and take my hand and my dollar bill,
let me do your will to my temples
soul be done without the old question,
but will your stick my apple to the peach?
to the peacepipe peach, and to long
tall reach of the cigare pipe stand
bubble gum sweet man
sweet sweet man, the world is your hand but
will you get my dollar bill?

i say "i'm not doing this shit again,"
and you say, "what?"
you are so shcoked you can't believe it,
and you keep coming back again
and all your thoughts keeps
coming back again, round and round,
and why won't you stop thinking in circles
and i am still not sure how i feel about you,
but i hate to admit this, in a delayed
reaction way i think i love you,
and part of me, looking at you wishes i could fuck you
and as i sit across from you,
looking at a day's growth of
beard on your face
and the grace of green eyes,
pleading against fearborn religion
and all the sad things you say,
part of my wishes this was the
day you would push yourself
against me
and, stopping all argument just
love me, just press your mouth
to mine and love me

the moment of loving is precisely the same as
the moment of poetry it goes in a flow three
times faster than the rest of this slow bear's
blood life where so called thinking
hibernaciously slow is weighed down,
nearly drowned by bad logic and logic
is just the inability to see, and
logic is just wishing you didn't
see and all the daylight thinking
is burned by its limits
do you remember your limbs
and my limbs twined together
at two in the morning and magic
of sex faster than love and love
faster than thought and the most
sacred moments of our lives are
like that, holy like that,
fucking like that

The poem of my life is easier to write
at 6 am and far more visible,
how visible the twinkling of its
threads this early in the morning
against the night
light my way best
with the heart of things,
at this time when i haven't
had the time to gather up
all the bits of armor i
would put on to make me
different from you and
me different from him and
him and then
this has always been the
heart of me
to stare into the middle
of this morning blackness
and see
us

i'm too stupid to let go
let me find release
you have always been our answer
in you i find my peace
in love you are love
in light delight
place your hand upon me
give me sight
there is the darkness
in the darkness
in the dimness of the dead end
path
and the only monster in that labyrinth
is the one i make
and you are the love,
the ariadne
the string
the sex on naxos







see me here, nude as birth
lustful as a boy
confused as any child on the brink
everytime i think i've figured it out
here it goes again
and it is life
and it is the movement of the earth
and it is the mother
the father, the following
of the day upon the night
the admission that three fourths
nine tenths of the world exist beyond my sight

1

I am beginning to see you
because I have stopped to open my
eyes
how often was I stumbling
fair is the morning and
fair is the night
no more wailing
i stood at the door a long
time weeping
and then wrote down the misery of
all that had been
how with pen and paper
to describe this life
everytime i try it melts
away like manna
i love you
i would
describe
you do inscribe such
sacred things in me
and silence me




2
now, at last i love you
and maybe even a little myself
now i begin to touch you and
can't tell anyone else
i whisper it
i know it
i knead it
you feed me,and touch me with such care
and where we are going
i cannot say

i thought i had stopped looking for you and long after i had stopped, i walked in, i sat down, i gave it a chance' the seeker never faltered, the star never stopped hanging
now after thirty years i am at the very beginning of beginning and while the darkness of the night is thinning to let in the day' in colg january grace i begin to find you finding me

i have decided, i have decided, i have...
i aven't decided anything
i am going to let you be and let me be and i am going to give in to the singing
at the end of the sighing, and the tearing apart of the sky there is rejoicing
there is this opening up
if i give myself to the music all the world''s been making, will i find you in the end
or will i find ou that we have always been finding each other?

God bless all here who are tired,
who are weary who are wintered
over, who do not think they will
make it through another day
bless the community of the
pimpld, the chaffed, the
unshaven and the thinned out
and gather them in where
all is gathered into one
give love to the one who
cannot go on any longer
and weakness to she who
is to strong
and to those broken down
a song
vimru
Amen

how long has it been since
you lay long beside me
how long has it been
since that length
inside me
how long must i wait,
how long must i love
and keep keep praying
over and over again
making songs of
lust'and of long...
longing

this is nothing like the terror in which i
conducted my old life, and yet i am still
half jumpy like the pulse of electric
through the wire, over things i cannot
tie together or control. do you ever
get tired of trying to manage the ri
vers o you soul and dam them up
before they spill over? over this
hill is the next day and i am
still trying to manage the week.
one voice gently says, if any
voice is saying anything:
peace

so you will cover me in water
and not in dogma
and you will lather me in oil
in hands like my own
and i iwll own this thing that
people tried to take from me
and i will carve you from my
own face'and we will
amek each other
this is the most frightful truth
andthis is the most freeing thing
and at the end of my quest is
the beginning of resting
in this bed
and in you
and the striving
the living
the so called dying
everything we screamed for was just a breath away

no, not to mount sinai, but to the bath,
and to the fever dream, to the moment
of silence where, long ago,
our first ancestro
met you, and bathing,
and washing and
living dicoveredthese
were the gifts
and this was the path
and chose to
followand if fllow him,
and a million
and then, i follow
my own soul, tonight with the
light of one
candle in this path.
the path away from the
wayness from myself
and to your house,
my heart
they are the same

oh dark night
cold as iron
black as four a.m.
i am waiting here and now
i here the baby
oh burning log
oh soft sung hymn
let me say no ill thing
i will love everything
teach me to cease
believing in non believing

i don't know facts
i don't know anything
i only know how to be
a virgin
i only know that
the baby is me

How long i wrote of loving you
how long i longed to love you.
i knew you were kissing me but could
only keepy faith, keep faith until
i stopped believing.
and we must not say too much,
we must not speak too long or
else we will jinx it do not
step on the crack or i cannot
get you back
oh, no, take me to your temple
every old day your mercies
are brand new
and you are my gentle
father and devoted mother
giving birth to me

truth rises to meet me with the speed of light,
and tongue tied, I pray she will forgive me for
all the stories i put over her face.
truth comes quicker than lightning,
like the earth to meet the falling
penny and before i'm dashed i pray
she'll pity me
pity a fool who wills to
shape the earth to what
its not and make of
mysteries definition
pity us in our decisions,
whitewashing twice
to make the burning fire ice

I need to love every inch of your skin
more than you know it
i need to hallow every crevice
with my tongue and run
my lips over the smoothness
of your tattooed skin
let me in, let me in,
and love me wholly
or not at all