I don't feel all fevered and passionate like i did
Just sort of sedated
Having admitted my love I'm okay with
it not working out
not even the temptation to wish I could love
someone else.
I try to.
I try to wish for someone else cause
i can't remember your face,
it turns into someone else's, all the lines
of it fall out and break
like some Picasso lover
I can't get your laugh or your voice
right anymore.
no pictures of you, just this faulty
grasping memory
this palsied claw of the mind and it seems
like I don't love you, am quite over you
So, why when I see a picture of Phoenix
Arizona, or any thread that leads to
you am i instantly with you, feeling
the touch of your hand,
the bread heat scent of your breath
and why do i know, if i have forgotten you
if i am over you
the solidity of your lanky frame
why does the Oklahoma accent whisper in my head
Never ever did I carry a man so fully in my vitals.
When I tell myself that this has very little chance
of working
that I should put it all away
my self is very quiet
and she just shakes her head and chuckling
whispers
"No."

So that is where I am right now.